A stray bullet

​I’m so sorry that I was in your way


I’m sorry that you couldn’t get the guy you wanted because of me, the obstacle that was in your way. The one who caused you to miss your target. 

  You hit the bullet in my spine though. Great idea. Stray bullets flying back and forth between yourself and your that guy. Why? 

  I don’t understand why you had to make use of me when you ran from the one post to the next. Did you think I was that big of a threat to you? Me and my small fragile body… I’m only 5 years old. I wanted to be a police officer like my mom. She protects others but she couldn’t protect me. 

  She ran into the hospital trying to find me and once she did she heard that I was being operated on due to you and your missed target. She was crying alot when she heard this. The doctor told her the I am in danger as the bullet is embedded in the groove of the discs in my spinal cord. 

  She says she heard over her radio that there was a shoot out near where we lived but she couldn’t leave where she was stationed to be at the time. My mom was really worried as she knew I was probably playing outside with Jesse and Caitlyn. 

  You Mr “I can’t shoot straight” you caused the tears in my mother’s beautiful eyes, you caused the hurt in my father’s heart when I told him that my back was sore and when he said everything will be alright. I didn’t know that I got shot. My dad saw the blood and he knew. 

Are you a parent? Do you want this for your child? I hope you feel good knowing that I may be paralysed for the rest of my life if the bullet severed any nerves. 

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I respect myself

I respect myself enough to breathe. To relax. To know that from now till forevermore arrives it just myself and my shadow.

I respect myself enough to let the people go who have hurt me e.g. the one who so beautifully said he’d have thrown me out on the street if it wasn’t for studies I might even have taken you up on your offer but I can’t. I have a beautiful sister whom your perverse ass will probably rape because of the type of arse you are. 

I hate you. Because I can’t live

I’m now stuck. But I still respect myself enough to realise I’m not the butt in the equation. YOU ARE!

Funeral in the tunnels of my mind


I’ve found myself in a funeral. A funeral for my life. A funeral of the past and future. Each of their respective caskets at their respective places. 
Covered in black silk with an honours emblem to each of them, a white rose gently placed beneath it to emphasize each part thereof. 

Beautiful.

Really.

No.

The funeral for my past was okay, not too many tears were shed. Nothing but grief filled the void I’ve created. 

The funeral for my present was a bit dodge. They even had candles to symbolise life and life in abundance for that matter. However, where is the life if it’s being sucked out of you on a constant. 

Well lastly. The funeral for my future was grey. It was bland and it had people tugged tight in rags. They want to escape but they can’t. They know what they’ve done. The inescapable lies sitting around the table. Awkward. This is a place of immense silence and just more and more lies. 

So the question left. Why have the funerals when they’re meant to be a celebration of life in the first place?

​LISTEN& SILENT are spelled with the same letters

Silence is golden they say yet the very same silence becomes a danger, a torture method, a way to unleash your insanity you never knew even existed.

When silence is broken there is liberation, justice served, it unveils the perpetrator and frees the victim. It allows you to take back your life.

We know all wounds aren’t visible, but we need to learn to be in tune, notice when something has changed- enthusiasm, drama, silence, isolation. Anything. Open your eyes- look at these physical differences as well- whether it be your friend, family member, co-worker, colleague, boss or even your neighbour. 

Why can’t we listen to the cry of SILENCE? Oh because we’re all deaf. Deaf because we are to caught up with our lives, we can’t hear the HELP ME! coming from our son who found out that his nether ends does strange things when he’s around a girl, that our daughter is having a hard time coping at school- this boy keeps staring at her, following her, victimises her. What about your neighbour who doesn’t fit her label “nosy parker”- have you seen her tear stained face, have you noticed her hair isn’t pulled back. No YOU CAN’T SEE this either.

BE SILENT AND LISTEN WITH BOTH YOUR EYES AND EARS. It’ll help and comfort your SON, your DAUGHTER and your NEIGHBOUR

Please wake up mommy

He woke up this morning with his mom lying next to him holding him tightly. He’s only 6 years old. She’s not breathing! Where’s my dad? He hurt her last night… Why is mommy not moving. Mommy wake up

Its okay he’s not here right now we can run away.

Mommy why aren’t you moving come on we have to go, our bag is still under the bed with the money, we can go.

Come on now!!

Mommy you’re not breathing. Wait maybe my asthma pump will help. Okay, 1- 2 breathe!!

Mommy before he comes. Please you’re bleeding we need to get you up. 

Why is your face so cold? Why is your eyes still open? Why are you holding me so tightly?

Mommy are you okay? Answer me!!!

Please

Did he do it? Did daddy do this to you? Can you please say something. 

I remember you told me you loved me last night but you aren’t showing me that you do.

Mommy you are still asleep aren’t you?

Wait for me…

I’ll get someone to help you wake up.

Please wake up I promise I’ll listen to you from now on when you tell me to hide. I’ll listen when you tell me nows not the time. This is all my fault. I didn’t want him to hurt you again and now you can’t speak, you’re not moving. Its all my fault.

Mommy I can’t face him alone. Please help me, help you, help us. Please.

Dear rebels: No box can keep us bound

This is for the rebels and those who never could truly fit in what the system expects from us and says that we should do. These lines are for the Wild Ones.

Society makes us believe that something within us isn’t right when we are too different. Are we damaged? Should we be repaired or even cured?

When you decided to break the rules and step out of every comfort zone and possible shelters, people started to ask you questions. When you made the decisions to forget the mainstream guidelines, your be-careful and you-should-think-twice entourage began to worry.

When you declared that big changes were about to happen in your life, but ones you couldn’t disclose yet, your friends, your family and even your enemies started to wonder.

So, you got scared precisely because you were seeing that they couldn’t understand your choices.

But you’re alright. Trust these letters.

They do not worry for you because you’re a mistake or because you’ve taken a wrong path. You aren’t, they aren’t either. People are different, and that is all. You can’t blame them. You can only love, and let go if you really don’t feel aligned.

They worry because they could never jump that far.

They worry for you because you exhale freedom, love, colors, surrender and joy. Because they know that only true warriors shine that bright, they worry for you because they can imagine your — our — fights.

They wonder because they have what you don’t, and because you have what they can’t grasp. They worry for you because they can see all that you’ve taken away from the box of your life, in order to walk in freedom.

They are curious about your journey because you live in your truth. And seeing the truth is scary, it aches, it even screams sometimes. And their own truth could hurt them just as it did damage to you not that long ago.

They worry when they hear about your stories because you’ve managed to find enough strength to walk a life based on your beliefs. What they see in you is the reflection of what they can’t be.

How brave you are! Trust these lines.

You’re on the way to yourself, and we can all see that. You’re walking towards your own unique beauty, your authentic golden self, and that gold knows no price.

You — we — have chosen the winding roads of the seekers. You’ve said No so many times to all the things that didn’t feel aligned with your heart.

You’ve decided that your happiness mattered more than any title or status. Your joy was more important than any outfit, you deserved more than what seemed sparkling but lacked flavor at heart.

Yes, you’re scary. You’re even incredible, see what you’ve achieved.~

Lizelle Lewis​https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1883807428518894&id=100006689652332

A man who loves you wouldn’t leave you when times get tough

You got sick a couple of times at home, puking your guts out. You haven’t told him as you know he is not ready.

It might just be the last thread which is keeping you together. So you fall to the ground praying and coming to the realization you have two options- either have it ripped from you or lose the love of your life.

The following day you off to the pharmacy getting a pregnancy test- TWO LINES (oh shizz you’re screwed). You run to your GP tears streaking your face and the test falls out of your bag. She understands. Blood tests are then agreed to and actioned.

Evening falls, drenched you come into your home contemplating, completely zoned out, NOT READY, SCARED, AFRAID of his reaction. You walk right pass him no hello, no eye contact, no physical contact. NOTHING.

He peers into the bedroom bathroom and finds you in the shower with water pouring over you, “I’m pregnant baby” – excuse me? “I have all the symptoms, I’ve done the tests, every outcome is positive.”

“SHIT!” he’s pacing, you’re crying. What will come of this? He says nothing. You get up, wrapping your arms around yourself, concerned that he might back away. He stops dead in his tracks makes eye contact at last and raises his hand on you. A hand print right across your face. “How could you let this happen,” he asks “So this is how it is?”

He runs off into the night, no calls for the next couple of days. Desperate to know his whereabouts you head for his mom’s place. She doesn’t know where he is but her wisdom seeps through. SHE KNOWS.

She hugs you holding you tightly, while your tears once again escape your eyes. She knows the pain as the same happened to her when she had fallen pregnant with the very man who had left you, her son. “Together,” she says “we will raise your son or daughter, he or she will have the support of two strong women” and too begins to cry.